The Finch and the Sparrow

A finch was flying around town one day and spotted a sparrow sitting in a cage just inside of an open window. Now, this finch was a bright bird and just happened to know how to handle such cages. She flew up to the cage and opened the latch with a flourish saying,

"I have rescued you, sir sparrow, you can fly freely to your heart's desire and explore what this wonderful world has to offer you."

Instead of thanking him profusely, as the finch expected, the sparrow shrank to the back of the cage, paralyzed with fear at the mere thought of leaving his familiar surroundings.

"Go away! The outside world is dangerous... I will die if I free myself!" He said.

The finch looked exasperatedly at the sparrow and spent many minutes trying to convince him why it was right that animals were supposed to be free, but the sparrow would not budge. Finally the finch gave up and left.

The finch was not ready to admit defeat. She pondered the situation for many days, struggling to imagine and understand why a bird would not want to be free. One day an idea struck her which she decided to try.

She flew back to the cage with the sparrow and once again found the window open. When the sparrow saw her, he shrank back in fear as before.

"Don't be afraid," said the Finch, "I just want to talk to you for a while."

The finch then spent the next several minutes describing the wonders of the outside world: what it was like to fly above the treetops on a warm spring day, how it felt to complete a nest built with her own beak, and many other bird wonders that we can only begin to speculate at. When she had finished, the sparrow's eyes were wide with all that he had taken in, but he still said,

"That all sounds wonderful, but I still think it is much too dangerous out there for me to try."

The finch smiled, as much as finches can smile, and said "I understand. Can I come back and talk to you some more tomorrow?"

The sparrow was more than happy to have someone to share conversation with for a change so he agreed. The next day the finch came back to the cage, but this time she brought some rare seeds (bird delicacies) with her. As she landed on the rim of the cage, she set the seeds down next to her.

"What is that?" asked the sparrow.

"These are some rare seeds I found, but I can't possibly eat them all and I have no one to share them with." the finch said sorrowfully as she began to nibble at a few of the seeds.

"Are they good?" asked the sparrow, edging closer to where the finch was standing outside the cage.

"Magnificent" replied the finch. "Would you like some?"

"If you have enough... can you put a few inside the cage for me?"

"I'm afraid not. These are so good I just can't stop." But even as she said this, the finch deftly swung her beak to open the cage. "You just have to take one step outside of the cage and you can have all the seeds you want. You can go right back in after, I won't stop you."

The sparrow slowly edged closer to the opening in the cage and hesitantly took a step out. He grabbed a few seeds and quickly hopped back inside. The finch just smiled to herself again before finishing the seeds and leaving.

Over the next few weeks the finch was gradually able to convince the sparrow to take greater and greater actions outside of his cage. She started small by asking him to help her spot something from the window, or having the sparrow help her find some soft material inside the house for a nest.

The finch took many persuasive angles for each of these steps, always keeping in mind the fear the sparrow had always had for the outside world. She eventually began to teach sparrow survival skills, including showing him how to open his own cage.

One day, about a month later, the finch flew to the window to meet the her friend for the final leg of a long nest gathering expedition. When the finch reached the familiar window sill, she was astonished to see the cage door open and the sparrow gone. At first she was worried, but then she saw a small piece of paper laying at the bottom of the cage. It simply said "You've shown me what freedom means. Thank you." Again, the finch smiled.

Music, Sweet Music I Wish I Could Caress

I've been slightly manic depressive for a few years now, not really severely enough to actually do anything about it or even be medically diagnosed. I say this because from time to time I experience periods of irrational depression and/or elatedness. They usually come close together, in pairs or cycles. Typically the periods only last for a few hours at a time, but those few hours can be quite grueling (or awesome, in the case of manic ones). I actually had my first migraine last spring, and I draw a parallel between that experience and my depression. It will start slow, gradually increase in severity until I'm almost completely incapacitated, then after a few hours eventually start to recede. Also like migraines, I have no idea what external or internal circumstances trigger my body to react in this way.

I have tried a number of things over the last few years to help cope with these sessions when they occur, some more successful than others. There are also a few things I have yet to try that I would like to, but have been too afraid. Many of these things you can find on most depression help sites, but I wanted to share my personal experience.

Disclaimer: I don't claim to be an expert on anything I write about on this blog, this being no exception. Any advice given below should be taken with a grain of salt, since it is based entirely on my own personal experience with a very mild form of depression. If you think you have clinical depression, you should seek help from a doctor. Thanks for reading my blog though :).

Reactive Things I've tried

• Drinking -- Alcohol is not a good depression remedy, for all the reasons usually mentioned. The temptation is hard to resist, however, when all you want to do is take your mind off of things. In most cases, it will probably keep your mind on things instead.
• Doing nothing -- Most of the time when I am depressed, I find it hard to do anything except lie down. It's not possible to sleep, and has contributed to my insomnia problems in the past. Other than drinking, this is probably the worst thing you can do when you are depressed in my opinion.
• Thinking "positive" -- I have always been sort of an independent, and probably arrogant, person. So when I considered the idea of "depression," I figured I could fight it off by just forcing myself to think positively. It turns out this doesn't work. At all. It just creates a battle in your own mind and causes frustration when it fails to work.
  
• Being around others -- This sounds like a good idea off the bat, but it really isn't. Whenever I am depressed and around other people, even if they are having a good time, I am pretty impervious to the mood. It also makes me feel like I am having an adverse effect on their fun, which creates a spiral of depressing thoughts.
• Cleaning -- This has probably been one of my most successful remedies for depression. I think it helps for two reasons. One, you are doing something, which helps take your mind off of depressing things. Second, it makes you feel better to have accomplished something. I also think a clean environment has an overall general positive effect on mood.
• Going for a walk in nature -- This is one of my most recent attempts during less severe bouts of depression. I like this because it allows me to get away from everything and clear my head, while being in a peaceful and serene environment. I recommend finding a place outside of town, or maybe in a large park where there aren't very many people. I hesistate to recommend something like this for severe cases however, since being alone in an unfamiliar place probably isn't such a great idea

Proactive things I've tried

• Meditation -- Meditating has done wonders for both my approach to every day life and my own internal monologue. It helps create a positive outlook on life from within, without forcing yourself. in a way, you develop the ability to recognize emotional responses to stimuli, but have a choice whether to allow those emotions to manifest themselves (this is different than burying or hiding your emotions). It also helps to accept things as they come and deal with them, not dwelling on the past, but learning from it and looking to the future. This all sounds like common sense stuff, and it is, but being able to calm your mind and train it to think this way is less than easy.
• Sleeping more -- This is a no-brainer as well, but I do seem to notice a correlation between lack of sleep and frequency of depression.
• Recognition -- This is one of those "admitting you have a problem is the first step" kinds of deals. Recognizing that my depression was not the direct result of some external issue and that there was nothing I could do to make it go away really allowed me to get my head around things and deal with it. The fact that I know now that it will go away after a few hours goes a long way towards helping with this when it occurs. Interestingly enough, recognition of the manic side of things was not as obvious. It was sort of a surprise one day when I was loving life and I realized "There is really no reason for me to be this ridiculously happy, especially when I felt so horrible just last night..." I was able to recognize it better from that point forward.

One thing I haven't mentioned yet that I do quite often is play the guitar. I haven't mentioned it because it gets it's own sort of special category, since I love to do it both when I am depressed and when I am manic. Guitar is a form of meditation for me and allows me to take my mind off of things when I am depressed. It is also super fun, which makes it a good thing to do when I am manic as well :). That is really what prompted this post in the first place.

Medatative Running

Aside: This is the triumphant return of my blog, so expect more frequent updates in the future. We'll see how long I can keep this up before it dies again.

I recently started running (again) and have resumed a practice that I found refreshing and useful a few months ago. "Meditating", or clearing your mind, while running is an interesting and fun exercise. I first started thinking about it when reading about walking meditation. Then I ran across a post by Leo from Zen Habits that described being in the moment while running, which is essentially what I am trying to do. I won't go into too many specifics here, check out the previous post if you want to learn more about it. I will say, however, that one trick that helps me clear my mind and focus is that whenever distracting thoughts surface I acknowledge them, but then imagine them floating past me as I run by so they don't stick around for long.

If your a runner (or even if you're not) I suggest giving this a try and see if you like it. One of the important things to point out from the Zen Habits post is to try the concentration in bursts at first, since it is somewhat difficult to hold while your body is under stress.